Dungeons & Dragons 5E
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M.A.G.E.ncy
The Magically Anomalous Gate Exploration Agency is currently looking for new recruits! The Agency monitors thousands of realms and scans them for any dangerous/unstable magical anomalies, as a field agent, it will be your duty to go and investigate these phenomena, preventing as much destruction as you are able. As a new recruit, you will be paired up with other trainees to ensure success on your mission, and you will be limited to the third power level until proficiency and competence are displayed.
*By accepting employment, volunteering, apprenticing, contracting, interning, wandering into headquarters, signing any magically binding document (whether knowingly or not), or otherwise participating in Agency operations, you acknowledge that magical work carries certain occupational hazards. By continuing, you voluntarily assume all risks associated with your service and agree that The M.A.G.E.ncy, its Directors, Agents, Wizards, Support Staff, Contractors, Summoned Entities, and affiliated organizations shall not be held liable for any of the following, including but not limited to:
Death (temporary, permanent, or dramatically reversible).
Dismemberment, re-memberment, or accidental attachment of someone else's limbs.
Spontaneous combustion.
Curses, hexes, jinxes, and other magically inconvenient conditions.
Polymorph into a frog, sheep, decorative shrub, or other inconvenient lifeform.
Dragon-related incidents, including roasting, freezing, electrocution, acid dissolution, or being mistaken for lunch.
Mimic attacks involving chests, doors, furniture, treasure, or suspiciously ordinary objects.
Goblin theft of valuables, dignity, or both.
Trolls, bridge collapses, and unsolicited riddles.
Unscheduled teleportation, planar travel, or temporal paradoxes.
Possession by ghosts, spirits, eldritch entities, or your own alternate-universe self.
Encounters with krakens, unicorns, griffins, wyverns, vampires, werewolves, zombies, giant spiders, gelatinous cubes, or any creature classified as "probably hostile."
Falling into pits, triggering traps, or activating cursed artifacts.
Rogue wizards, unstable spellcasting, wild magic surges, or experimental alchemy resulting in unexpected beards, extra eyes, sentient footwear, or uncontrollable interpretive dance.
Questionable bargains with demons, devils, fae, genies, or other extraplanar entities.
Castle sieges, dungeon collapses, or any structure that appears architecturally unsound.
Friendly fire, hostile fire, fireballs, or any other magical explosion.
Divine intervention, cosmic horror, reality unraveling, or celestial phenomena.
Sentient flora, opinionated fungi, and bees of unusual size.
Geese.
The M.A.G.E.ncy, its Directors, Agents, quartermasters, accountants, librarians, interns, janitorial staff, dragons (domesticated or otherwise), mysterious hooded consultants, talking ravens, and any affiliated entities shall not be held liable for injuries, fatalities, resurrections, reincarnations, planar displacement, loss of soul, magical essence, inventory, reputation, hit points, spell slots, sanity, companions, mounts, familiars, livestock, or favorite hats.
Participation constitutes acceptance that, should your remains be recoverable, they may be returned in approximately the same condition in which they are discovered.
Should resurrection become necessary, available, or financially practical, all associated costs—including diamonds, phoenix feathers, unicorn tears, ritual candles, chanting fees, and the cleric's customary gratuity—remain the sole responsibility of the deceased or their next of kin.
If you are unable to accept these terms due to death, petrification, imprisonment in another plane of existence, transformation into a decorative statue, or eternal sleep, your continued participation shall nevertheless constitute acceptance.